They think we would be great together. They are really happy for me and hoping we date. I think they may be more excited than I am…I do like him, and I should be happy all my friends approve, but than again I don’t think he really likes me, I think he is just nice. I think everyone is getting the wrong impression. SO if we don’t date… well… AWKWARD! I would be let down, and I can’t imagine the talk because well of all the signs…All I can do is see what happens and try to stay calm & positive…Oh life =/ Do NOT disappoint me again! haha. pressure is on!
Well I was 17. It was literally 2days before my birthday. I had a birthday party that day and my boyfriend at the time ended up staying the night. When he would stay the night he stayed in my sunroom on a couch. Well we ended up doing it really late at night therewhen everyone was asleep. It being my first time hurt and did not last too long. That is basically it!
I can’t even begin to imagine I would be devastated! I hope he never replaces me, I’m sooo scared, all the time. I shouldn’t be though he is so loving and loyal! I feel sorry for anyone who loses a best friend esp if it is out of nowhere, and for no good reason!
TMI Tuesday by like 40 minutes, but it is still Tuesday somewhere in the world, sooooo comments, questions, storied, ANYTHING I am not picky, anon, friends, strangers! Leave me something in my ask please! I have’t gotten any in FOREVER :(
"And I wonder where the friendship went. What about the days and the memories we spent? Now it feels like I’m being replaced. Now it feels like I don’t know you."
"And I’m sorry for the smiles we missed, the times that I blew it. I have so much to tell you. I don’t know where to start. Maybe I’ll find a way. Maybe you’ll help me do it cuz friends like us shouldn’t be apart."
- both quotes unkown
(they both were so cute/ good and they fit very well together, so I used them both together.)
I just want suggestions for birthday plans. Ideas?! my birthday is this Saturday and I have no clue….I’m celebrating all weekend. I don’t even know who I am gonna invite. I’m a big birthday person…but this year I kind of want to say fuck it. =( too many things are going on. Everyone is fighting. No money…. the list goes on!
My best friend knows how sorry I am. I hope he knows how much I love him. I hope he knows how much I want to change, and I also hope he knows that he is my lifesavor and means so much to me. I don’t wanna lose him, but I am a pusher. I know he knows all this, but just a reminder. I’ve been a BITCH lately, I don’t mean to be…I know if we ever stopped being friends both of us would be so hurt and lost. I commend him for sticking it out though. He is amazing, sweet and he cares so much. He is the first to stand up for me, defend me, help me, etc and I take it for granted now….don’t get me wrong I am sweet and there for him neither of are perfect and it takes work, work we are willing to put in, because this is the true meaning of best friends, I just wanted to dedicate it to him, because tonight really sunk in….Roger I love you, you are my best friend and I would be lost without you. No worries things will be better. I am learning so are you! =D we just need to get it together but look how much fun we have and look at how much we feel for each other. I just wish we could get everything on the table. Even if we stop being friends in the future I would have great memories, and I know we would still think/ care about each other. Please put up with me Nicole! hahah and please please never do me wrong I have so much trust in you! there is so much more I would love to say but this is long enough and I can show you…because saying it is one thing doing it is another,but remember that convo we had….and what I want from you. pay attention, don’t do me bogus, and do not replace me, or not want to hang with me etc… cuz then it wont work! LOVES YOU! piece of cake ;)
I really like him (and I don’t wanna say that out loud) why? I am shy….hahah plus I do NOT wanna get my hearbroken :/ I hate not knowing how the other person feels… and all my friends are convinced he really likes me, which makes me feel good, but still I do not believe it, though I hope it is true. I guess we will see soon? I’m nervous, and the more and more we hang the more I fall …and the more I psych myself out. I am just bad at this I will admit! Well we are suppose to go to a club tomorrow hope that works out! AHH wish me luck?
I’ve been playing this song a lot and I keep it in repeat-peat-peat-peat-peat-PEAT! no joke and I usually do not care for her or any other disney star songs….a few exceptions, not that I have anything against Disney stars….
So, I talked to a close friend, and really talked about recent things going on. She not only eased my mind, but made me realize a lot…If I don’t like someone I don’t have to be friends with them point blank. If I feel weary and am just going to a person because they listen I need to just find someone else. What my friend said is how I’ve always felt about the person I do not trust. I don’t wanna be there for all the wrong reasons..It’s not fair to me or that person. I feel fake and like a fraud like all the others I have complained about…I’m breaking away. I’m gonna be a better person. I’m going to keep the friends who help and really care. Then I will be happy. I need to be happy, everyone does, and at this point we are all just trying to find our way. I should have listened to myself, but I do let people get in my head. I should have seen the signs, but I really just like to believe people are good. You wanted me to be as miserable as you, if you weren’t happy I shouldn’t be if you were losing someone then so should I that way you had me at least…I mentioned that Eminem is my idol of all time and I am not like him at all, I kind of want to be in the sense that he is him. He doesn’t care what people think, he is confident etc. I’m gonna try and be a little more like that. I feel so bad / guilty about a lot of things, especially in the way I deal with people. I feel like everyone else I bag on because I am doing the same thing and then I turn around and change my mind about someone. Like, I can bitch about someone to everyone then I hang with that person and I’m like I don’t hate them and now I feel dumb and fake. All I do id lose! Well I’m gonna start building up what has been torn down. I can do this I just have to gain back that confident girl I was in 8th grade before I lost it all. So I need to get it together no more being sad, no more being close to people I am weary about, no more taking shit, no more sulking, no more bashing and talking about people. No more being fake. NO MORE! I know it won’t all change like today but steps and I will get there and get better! =D just writing this was a big weight off my shoulders. (exclusions on best friends when I talk about people because I can actually trust them and come on we all need that 1 person, we just have to be smart about who that person is) Can anyone give me any advice?
I found out why I don’t look in the mirror…no, why I can’t look in the mirror….. It isn’t a great reason… :( Why do I torture myself with these videos/ articles, etc…. I think it is because I do not speak openly to anyone about past things…I’ve always just learned to keep quiet and deal with it on my own….and so this is how I am coping…by relating.Well when something builds and builds like a pop,it eventually busts and spills right?