Losing it all, my friends, my mind, and myself. I have been sick lately with the common cold. I have been extra tired and confused and alone. I knew this would backfire still I proceeded with it I guess I’m even more pathetic then I thought. Still It is my life to fuck up and I have done good job so far. I want them all to accept and love me. I am feeling the distance and the change. They won’t miss me when I am gone, they do not need me, and I don’t need them. I need to stop putting up with bullshit. I want more than anything to be happy and I can’t with this…..I am looking for something I cannot find here. Judge me all you want, question my motives, look down on me. I could never live up to my parents expectations so what makes anyone think I can live up to theirs? I’m sorry it has to be like this. If I can’t rely on you I won’t, If I am a burden then I will not come to you. If I am ignored then what is the difference when I really leave? They will all be fine with out me. this is just a lot of truth bottled up emotions and this isn’t even the half of it, but tequila is making me tired and I need rest thanks for the quick vent session. Now I wish I could just really talk to someone….
For the friends who accept me, care, love me unconditionally even though I am not perfect, but most of all thankful for the friends who stand by me and who have never left. =D <3 I love you. Thankful for the family I have, who I can always count on, who support and believe in me, and who love me with all of their heart. Thankful to be alive, even though times are hard, I give thanks to my job, economy is hard, thanks to everything I have, because others may not be so fortunate. I am thankful for lots of things, even though most times it doesn’t seem that way, or I take things for granted. Thanksgiving helps me to remember =D Hope everyone has a great holiday! <3 xxoxooxoxo
Carrie you will be missed, but never forgotten. You are very much loved. You had a big heart. We are all shocked, this happened so soon, I’m sorry I wasn’t there. I am so sorry I never got to see you in the hospital. I regret it. I feel like such a bad person. I want you to know I thought you would be fine, that is no excuse. I’ve just been busy and having problems… again no excuse. I hope you can forgive me. Please…..I just took so much for granted. I know You are in a safe haven. You were always so kind and you loved us all. You always made us feel welcome and wanted. You were so fun, so golden. The list can go on….and on…
<3 love your friend Jess. your family will be in my prayers.
ps. thank you for all the stories, and all the get togethers you threw for us. =D
Be careful of who you trust. Looks can be deceiving. You really do NOT know a person until you have spent time with them. Why am I bringing up this topic? Well, because me and some friends hung out with a guy from work. I have known him for like two days…but he seemed like a sweet guy,nice, funny,very cute. Turns out he is a drunk monster. I was suppose to meet up with him alone. (good thing I didn’t, it could have been worse) Anyways, it started off all fun and games. laughing, driving, talking…then we all thought he liked me. me and him made out twice,he let me feel all of his muscles, and he put my hand on his…..(you know) I thought it was a blooming relationship. ( I was hoping) Then he tried to get all over my friend, as I am still in the car and he won’t let up and she is saying no, I am trying to pull him off our friend isn’t doing anything to help it was a mess. SO upsetting and awkward I called my best friend to come pick us up. Scary, the worst is we work with him, so we see him, like today so awkward he caught me in a corner grab my arm and I was freaked, but he basically said sorry for the night and he was drunk and tried to use that as an excuse…idk… maybe I should have let my friend kick his ass, or call the cops…I have such bad luck with boys….: ( where have all the good men gone?
But it is already made…..and you will always know how much I love you how much I care, and how sorry I am. We always wanted to show the world we were closer than anything and nothing could break us…. I guess we just couldn’t prove them wrong after all. I take most the blame but not all. Don’t worry I will be alright. I wish you the best and happiness.<3 take care con todo mi amor
ps. no one can ever replace you, you were the truest of them all! just know that!
Asking questions time! TMI TUESDAY come on everyone I am home for the night and have nothing but time send me everything and anything por favor, I will return the favor if not anon, if anon I will respond back still. =D can’t wait!
This is a cute song about best friends, =D Iv’e been hooked. I cannot stop listening it is just WOW! reminds me of my bff. especially the part when it says I’ll never forget you they said we’d never make it, etc…
Not only do I like your blog (haha I found it) but I also am OBSESSED with you secretly. Ok here we go.. I got this idea from a Tumblr spam I got once lol.. I think you like me too and you were always too shy to admit it :3 go to crushmatches(dòt)com (wtf it wont let me link regular) and make an account there. Then look up the profile 'gottagetme19' (me obviously) I left body pictures.. if you can guess who I am hit me up and we'll hang soon. You need a C C but its free